Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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