She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
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