Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
