I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
