Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
