my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
