Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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