Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
