is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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