I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
