I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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