i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
