Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
why do cheetos always look like penises
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
