Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
