so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
