Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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