I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
