i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
