So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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