This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You have to summon your inner elephant
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
