You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
