Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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