wanna go halves on a baby?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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