They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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