I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
