If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
