He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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