i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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