you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
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I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
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He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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