we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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