He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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