i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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