Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
