So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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