I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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