Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
