A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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