I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
