yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
