check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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