The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
