ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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