I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I supernannyed him into submission
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
