I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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