Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
