I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
