I want to stick my p in your. b.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
