remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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