That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
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I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
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Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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