Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
