okay pat passed out under dana's car
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You are a genius and a whore.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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