I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
