would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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