You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
