Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
His hands were made for my vagina.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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