If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
