Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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