Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
