Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
