And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
