i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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