Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
