and next time when you feel me up, do it right
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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